Holy Shit

I was at my friend's house and his friends came over and were trying to get him to go out with them. Then this one asian guy or girl, I couldn't tell at first, walks by me and grabs my ass. I thought nothing of it, just an accident. Then later, that person asks, "What time is it?" looks at their watch and wraps their arms around me and tries to kiss me. I suddenly figure out that this guy/girl person was a Vietnamese butch lesbian. I push her away by the shoulders and tell her, "You're not hot."

...

Then Chris and I had to go to the bathroom and the nearest place to go was in this church. The toilet is in the middle of the aisle, near the entrance, and the Holy Water is behind it. So I sit in the toilet to pee, when I suddenly got diarrhea. All of a sudden a bunch of people come in and I realize that a service will be starting soon. So I'm sitting there, with people reaching behind me for the holy water, and I can't help but poo. I'm stalling with the toilet paper, folding it over and over, waiting for all the people to get in the church so I can wipe my ass and leave. But then I realized, being in the middle of the aisle, people would see me wipe the back part and not the front, giving away the fact that I was pooing in front of them. I already know they know what I was doing because of the stench around me, but for some reason I just could not get myself to wipe my ass. So I just pulled my pants up and ran. Without wiping my ass.

The next parts of my dream was not as exciting or weird so I'm not gonna write about it. I pooed in the middle of a church.

Awesome jawsome zombie dream

OK, so wooden room with this native guy, we knew there were zombies out there, that's why we locked ourselves in this room. Then his zombie sister was pounding on the door, and of course, he HAD to open it, she was his sister how could he not bla bla, then he was explaining to her not to turn us into zombies cuz you know, that's bad. Then these 2 hot zombie chicks with horns came in and told me i had to come with them because the master zombie or their leader or something wanted to turn me into a zombie. So of course, I go or else they'd kill the native dude, but then somehow my mind skips the turning into zombie part, which was probably scary and that's why it was censored out by my mind, I guess. Anyway, I'm back in the wooden room and I know I'm a zombie and I KNOW i was going to have the urge to kill Native guy, so I jumped out the window(some storeys high) cuz I knew I couldn't die, I was a zombie. Then after landing (WHICH WAS SO AWESOME, free falling and landing like a ninja), i climbed up the rooftops and watched some kids throw rocks into the building I was just in (which was this cool gothic Victorian style house) and me and the Native Guy attack them and capture them, and throw them in the living room. And they were all tied up and stuff, but that's all I can remember.

I WAS A ZOMBIE!!!

Dream #2

Ok um.. I was with a couple of guys from AI, and they were talking about seeing some girl naked and they were talking about how badly she needs to shave cuz she's hot but appearantly underneath her clothes she's as hairy as chewbacca... then I ask them who it was and they tell me.Then they show me a pic of her wearing a bikini, then another picture of her naked but where her bikini was, it was covered in fur. So like 3 triangular furry sections on her body. it was weird.

I don't want to reveal who that girl is on my blog, so ask me in person.

Dream #1

I'm gonna blog this before I forget.

I'm somewhere, I think a dining room, and I'm supposed to be cleaning. Then someone from my class walks up to me and shows me a used condom with red flaky crusts, and he's crying because he just slept with some girl and he got an STD, hence the red crusts. And I ask him, "Well, who did you sleep with?" and he says, "Princess Peach."

Yeah, Princess Peach from Mario.